


Fine Frenzy

by prongsdeer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prongsdeer/pseuds/prongsdeer
Summary: Sirius and Marlene only started to became friends at their seventh year, but this friendship will going to bring unexpected things for the both of them. Rated M for the upcoming smut parts.





	1. Chapter 1

Red carpets and tapestries, golden blankets and pillows all looked muddy and black at this late hour in the common room, when even the fire went out and the only light source was as the bright moon beamed through the window. She sat on the soft couch with her legs folded under her, a half bottle of firewhisky in her lap, her fingers clutched around the bottle’s neck while she stared off and listened the loud ticking of the clock in the silent room.

Marlene glanced at her watch: it was two o’clock in the morning. She gave a long, weary sigh and slammed the alcohol on the small, round table next to the sofa before she stood up. She just leaned back to pick up her jacket from the armrest when she heard a clear voice behind her back.

“Marle?”

She quickly turned around, seeing as Sirius was just walking down on the stairs in his light grey sweatpants with a black hoodie. She’d thought it was daytime, as his hair looked completely clean, not somebody’s who just crawled out from the bed. Only when the silvery light illuminated his face she could tell he just woke up; the narrowed, sleepy eyes gave it away.

“Marlene. Marly. Marls. Literally anything else except Marle, please.” – She answered with a monotone voice while the boy walked closer. She could see the emerging lips on his lips.

“Why?”

She shrugged and stepped back where the moon couldn’t light her face. “Because it’s sound like and old lady.”

He gave a short, bark-like laugh. “It isn’t.” – He said before he pointed his wand at the fireplace. – “Incendio.”

The room brightened immediately, but the sudden warm light made her growls and closes her eyes for a second.

“What? It’s really cold here and I couldn’t see that pretty face of yours.”

With a roll of her eyes, she plopped down on the couch again. Even though she didn’t really want any company, she thought Sirius frivolity maybe would be good for her. “Can’t sleep?” – She asked, looking up at him.

Sirius watched the big, glistening blue eyes with the slightly smeared makeup. There was something in her tone that he couldn’t decide what caused yet. “Lily is up in our dorm, and unlike Remus and Peter, I can’t sleep that deep.” – He sat down next to the girl, who laughed.

“Sometimes I’m really glad boys can’t come up our rooms. But you see, I think it’s still better when they couldn’t stop talking about each other.”

He let out a dramatic sigh. “Lucky you. James still can’t stop talking about Lily.”

“That’s so sweet.” – She said effusively. – “I’m so happy for them.”

“Me too.” – He said quickly. – “I just loved to sleep.”

Marlene chuckled again before she stood up to fold her legs under herself again, and Sirius realized what he heard in her voice earlier. “What have you got there?”

She followed his gaze while her eyes fell on the firewhisky. Grabbing the bottle, she turned back to him. “Happy juice. Want some?”

He accepted and took a sip, not taking his eyes off her, but he didn’t ask what was bothering her. After seven years knowing Marlene, Sirius learnt she doesn’t talk about her problems or there’s something wrong, and he could understand. He didn’t like to talk about them either.

He noticed she wore a pretty, short, dark blue dress under her leather jacket. “Had a date again?”

She only nodded.

“Was it so bad?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” – She muttered under her breath, snatching the bottle out from Sirius’ hand and taking a big sip. He fell silence and let her do what she wanted.

The two of them started became good friends only at the start of the seventh year, when after the first quidditch match Marlene showed a great muggle rock band to Sirius, and he quickly realized this girl maybe much more than he’d originally thought. Because she had her own, harsh style sometimes, and Sirius have had enough of harsh people. It wasn’t really a mask; she didn’t try to show herself something else that she truly was. She just never wanted to give her heart to anybody; what was the point if people could damage it so easily? Only those whom she trusted at least a bit could see her kind, big hearted and passionate side.

Sirius also noticed Marlene went on a lot of date lately. He didn’t know how far she went with them, but he could tell none of them lasted longer than a few hours. Usually, she laughed after these days, mocking about how awful every guy was, but now there were no jokes, nor complains; she was too quiet.

At least for a time being. Sirius made her laugh and lifted her mood quickly, thought the firewhisky definitely played a big role in it. After hours of talking, joking and playing truth or dare – which was only truth or truth with cheeky and embarrassing questions – Marlene was at the top of the table, singing a song from the Ramones when somebody stormed into the common room with dishevelled hair.

“Honestly, it’s four in the morning!” – Remus shouted. – “Can you two please shut up and go to sleep already?” – They looked back at him in silence with innocent faces, trying to choke back their laughs. – “Thanks.”

“Wow.” – She whispered after Remus left them. She stepped down from the low table, but landed in Sirius’ lap. – “He’s really moody.”

“No. It’s Moony.” – He laughed, wrapping his hands around her waist, pressing his forehead against her cheek before she could’ve stood up.

“Well, I don’t know who and why started to call him like this, but you should change it. Moody is fits for him better.” – She felt as Sirius smiled against her skin, but said nothing.

Out of nowhere, a sudden drowsiness overwhelmed the both of them, but no matter how nice would’ve felt to fall asleep in Sirius’ warm hug, Marlene shifted a yawn and crawled out from his lap. It felt cold without his arms around her, so she put on her jacket that she earlier dropped on the floor.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the backrest of the sofa. It was the first time in long hours they haven’t said anything, and the silence brought the melancholy back again for Marlene.

“I think I give up.” – She said with a raspy voice. – “Dating, I mean.”

Sirius’ eyes fluttered open and turned his head towards her. “What are you talking about?”

She sighed. “I’ve had enough. Guys see I’m pretty and they don’t care about anything else.”

He let out a tiny, almost inaudible laugh, so she continued. “I know it sounds cocky, but that’s the truth. They ask me out but none of them really want more than one night. It would be nice, you know? Some to ask me what’s my favourite flower or something.”

“Do you want guys to ask what your favourite flower is?” – Sirius asked with an amused voice.

She huffed. “It was just an example! Whatever, I’m talking to the wrong person. You also need girls for only night.” – She folded her arms and turned her head away from Sirius, but he sat closer to her.

“Marlene, no offense, but it’s your fault.”

She quickly looked back at him with angry eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you built up walls around yourself and you don’t let anyone in. Like, I know you for seven years and I only had a chance to realize how awesome you are a couple months ago. How do you expect from somebody to know that after one date, then?”

She fell silent for a few long seconds. “Well, maybe they should at least try to know me better.”

“Do you feel lonely?” – Sirius asked, surprised at even himself as he dared to ask something so personal. It felt heavier and so much more intimate when they were talking about their sexual life whilst they played truth or dare.

But Marlene answered immediately. “No, I don’t. I have amazing friends, and that’s enough, really. It’s just… now I wanted more than a one night stand, but I couldn’t get a normal relationship and it makes me feel unlovable and worthless.” – The words left her lips too fast and she stopped instantly after the last ones. She never thought she’d talk about this to anyone.

“What’s that crap? You’re everything but unlovable and worthless.” – Sirius said almost angrily. Marlene just rolled her eyes, and he sat closer again. – “Listen, if they don’t want to know you, it’s their fault, not yours. Why would you let some blokes who don’t even want to know who you really are makes you feel like this?”

She looked into his grey eyes, thinking about what he said weren’t just comforting words; he meant them, and it actually made sense. Really, why would I?

“You’re right.” – She said firmly. – “I’m gonna have fun and I won’t care about any stupid boys ever again. It’s their loss.”

“Now, that’s the Marlene I know.” – He laughed and messed up her hair.

She giggled softly before she stood up slowly; as the alcohol still affected her limbs her moves wasn’t so steady yet. “We should go to sleep. There’s a quidditch match tomo – I mean, today.”

“I forgot.” – Sirius growled and followed the girl. – “See you at the after party, I guess?”

“Sure.” – She gushed, eyes widened in excitement, completely forgot about the hangover will definitely make her to do anything but going to a party. – “I still have another bottle of firewhisky in the depths of my trunk.”

They vanished the empty glasses and walked across the room together, saying good nights, but Sirius turned back before he stepped on the stairs. “So what is your favourite flower?”

She frowned but smiled. “Dandelions.”

He cocked an eyebrow and watched her disappearing behind the girl’s dorm’ door, not sure if she was joking or not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First smut chapter of the story; not really explicit.

She woke up to the sound of somebody slammed the door shut, causing her almost fell off from the bed. Her head fell back on the soft pillow while a quiet growl left her mouth. “I’ll never drink again.” – She muttered to herself, but a light voice answered back.

“For like, what? Two weeks?”

Marlene raised her head up, seeing the smirking redhead standing near to her, leaning against the doorpost of the bathroom. “Maybe three.” – She said with a hoarse voice, clearing her throat. Lily shook her head and walked to the small table next to the door, grabbing a goblet and conjured some water, giving to her friend. She sat up and quickly drank all of it; the cold drink settled her stomach a bit immediately. – “Thanks.” – She breathed out, falling back on the sheets. – “Can you make some potion for this?”

Lily frowned. “Well, there’s something for hangover, but it looks really complicated… and I don’t want to poison you.”

Marlene let out a crying sound and buried her face back into the pillow. “Just do it. It’d be better.”

Lily laughed and jumped down to the bed, lying next to her friend. “Now come on, tell me what happened yesterday.”

She told her about the date with the seventh year Ravenclaw guy who couldn’t stop talking about himself, and in the end of the night was really offended, when she didn’t let him to kiss and touch her. After she finished but before Lily could’ve started to scold the guy – as she always did – Marlene quickly added. – “And I get drunk with Sirius. He was also in the common room, had a hard time with sleeping.”

“Why?”

Marlene smiled smugly. “Well, I think he had to hear something like “Oh, James, yes, right there…” – her moans changed into a laugh after Lily hit her with a pillow.

“Shut up.” – Her cheeks were flushed. – “I think we forget about the silencing charms.”

“Don’t worry. Sirius left and he said Remus and Peter can sleep really deep.”

But she still saw the embarrassment on her face as she let out a tired sigh, though Marlene found the situation really funny. They fell silence for a minute, before Lily carefully turned back at her. “So… you and Sirius…”

“Absolutely not.” – She cut her off. – “I’m not an idiot.”

Lily let out a long, relieved breath. – “I was scared. I mean, I love you both, but you know him and… I don’t think you’d need another heartbreak.”

“As I said, I’m not an idiot. We’re just friends.”

“Alright then.” – The redhead girl smiled and jumped up from the bed. – “Get up, have a shower and eat something. Gryffindor – Hufflepuff game starts in an hour.”

Marlene growled again. She completely forget about the match, and now wasn’t sure her throbbing head would bear it without exploding in the loud quidditch pitch.

But she crawled out from the bed and took a nearly cold shower, washed her hair, and felt herself a lot more fresh a half an hour later. She put on a Gryffindor-quidditch sweater with a short, black skirt before she walked down to the Great Hall alone, since everyone else had already left.

Half of the place was decorated in red and golden colours, and her house table was already loud and crowded. It was the last game of the season – and also James’ last chance to win the cup again. He was clearly nervous and excited at the same time.

“How’s your head, Marls?” – Her gaze met with Sirius’, and suddenly, she felt herself smaller than ever. I talked about my fears and feelings with this boy. She gulped and smirked, sitting down in front of him.

“Wonderful, really. But I might skip that another bottle today, if you don’t mind.”

Good idea, his own pounding head screamed to Sirius, but other words left his grinning lips. “Oh, don’t be such a pussy.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him while poured some coffee in a cup, but Peter next to her spoke up. “He’s right! This is our last game, we have to celebrate.”

“See?” – Sirius grinned even more.

Marlene rolled her eyes and tried to eat a toast, which finally calmed her angry, burning stomach down. The headache remained with her, no matter what she had done.

Fortunately, the match didn’t take long as the Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch in the first twenty minutes, earning a win and the house cup as well. The common room was extremely loud and smelled with the mix of every alcohol they could buy at The Three Broomsticks after fifteen minutes. She sat in a comfy armchair at the corner, thinking about what she’d give for a quiet, empty room, when Sirius suddenly appeared with weary face, collapsing in a seat next to her.

Marlene looked at him with raised eyebrows, mimicking his words from earlier. “Oh, don’t be such a pussy, Black.”

He turned his head towards her. “That’s your fault, McKinnon.” – He said with a sulky voice. – “I wanted to have some fun in our last Hogwarts party.”

She rolled her eyes. “By “fun” you mean that blonde over there? I see you can’t take your eyes off his arse.”

He tilted his head on the left side with a half smirk. “Even you couldn’t say no for an ass like that.”

“That’s probably true.” – She shrugged, making Sirius laugh. He slipped closer with his chair and rested his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes with a growl.

Lily tried to pull up her several times to make her dance, but she didn’t move. “I think we look like an old married couple here who can’t have fun.”

He said nothing but chuckled, his head stayed on her shoulder. It was long past midnight when the common room finally emptied – thank to McGonagall, who had to come in three times to send the students to sleep. Marlene and Sirius also went toward their dorms, but the boy stopped when he saw Lily and James hurrying up together. “Oh, come on.” – He growled, head tilted back. – “I think I just sleep in the couch, then.”

Marlene giggled. “You can go. I don’t think she’d forget about the silencing spells ever again.”

“Not going to risk it.” – He mumbled and collapsed on the comfiest couch.

She stood between him and staircase awkwardly. A sudden feeling made her to want to stay, but she wasn’t quite sure she should. She made a half step towards nowhere, when Sirius spoke up. “Will you stay?”

Her heart gave a happy jolt, but shrugged. “Okay.”

Thanks for the lack of sleep from yesterday, both of them fell asleep quickly in the warm common room. The couch was big enough for the both of them, but still, when Marlene opened her eyes up several hours later, their bodies were pressed together tightly.

It was still dark, and she had no idea how much she slept, but her headache finally vanished. It was the first things she noticed, as it was like a heavenly gift. Right after that, she noticed something else – Sirius’ boner against her from behind and his hand on her hip. He lied still, and Marlene had no idea if he was sleeping or not.

She didn’t know what to do. Maybe she should get up and leave, but she couldn’t bring herself to stand up. On the other hand, another part of her had a really hard time to prevent herself from make a move with her lower half, and she gave up after a half minute. She softly rubbed herself against him once, but he was still motionless. He was probably asleep.

But Marlene craved for more; any bit of friction to get some relief from her own, growing, tingling sensation between her legs. She grind herself against his lap again, harder this time.

And he thrusted back.

Her lips parted and she felt her heart beating in her ears. She didn’t dare to move, no matter how badly she wanted, but Sirius thrusted again; his hand slipped lower to her belly.

She started to make small, but constant circles with her hips, but a low growl from Sirius make her more eager. She felt her body burning with desire. Reaching back, she tried to unbuckle his belt, but it was hard from that position so he helped her, and she slipped her hand into his boxer in the moment she heard the satisfying clack sound of the clasp. She moved her hand up and down slowly but firmly, while he attached her lips to the soft skin on her neck, covering with open-mouthed, wet kisses. I didn’t take long before his hand moved lower and rolled up her skirt, touching her through her damp knickers. She could practically feel him smirking, as he noticed she was already so wet for him. He gently rubbed her with her underwear still on, but Marlene was too impatient and aroused for his little games. She quickly draw off her panties; not completely, just to give enough space for him. She grabbed his hand, placing where she wanted it to be.

Sirius wanted to say something sarcastic; he wanted so badly, but her confidence made him completely lose his mind. He growled into her ear again, rubbing long, soft circles between her wet folds while her small palms find her way back to his cock. Tiny gasps left her mouth several times, but when Sirius slipped two fingers inside her, she couldn’t help but let out a loud moan. It went on for another minute, and though he really, really enjoyed it, he needed to stop her. “Try to keep her voice down, doll. They’re going to hear us.”

Marlene just chocked back another moan and bit her lip, before she opened her mouth in the next moment. “Inside me. Now, please. Please.”

She didn’t need to ask twice. Sirius grabbed her hip again, pushing himself inside her slowly, and Marlene had to bit the back of her hand to hide another moan. He gave her some time to adjust, making only slow and long moves before he picked up his pace. She couldn’t stop grinding herself against him too, making the friction even stronger as they slammed together. His hand wandered up under her sweater, stroking and massaging her soft breasts. They weren’t big, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly they’re fit in his hand.

“Faster.” – She whined, though the position didn’t really let them to do it any faster. Sirius was afraid if they’d change positon he’ll come right away, but he wanted to give her what she wanted. He pulled out, made her to turn on her back and crawled on top of her fast, but stopped suddenly as they could finally look into each other’s eyes. It lasted one, long second, gazing into her desire filled eyes before he entered into her again, and he knew he was right and won’t last long. Because she was so hot and wet and tight, and moaned so sweetly into is ear – he didn’t even tried to make her keep her voice down anymore.

His body stiffened above Marlene with the last growl with his orgasm before he collapsed on top of her. It took him a long minute to collect himself and look up at the girl, her eyes closed. “Did you not… I mean…”

“No.” – She said, but her lips hovered into a satisfied smile. “But it was still amazing.”

He smiled back, but his hand wandered down on her.

Marlene shivered as his fingers brushed against her still wet folds again. She closed her eyes when he thrusted two of them inside her, pulling them in and out, in and out; she was long forget about he said she should shut her mouth. “Oh, Sirius.”

He dropped his head on the crook of her neck. “I love when you moan my name.”

She softly giggled between two moans, while started to loses control over her own body, moving it upwards for more pressure. He gave it to her, pressing his thumb against her clit, rubbing circles which quickly made her shuddering and shaking beneath him. She cried out one last time, arching her back before she let herself go completely.

Sirius lied down next to her, an arm still around her waist. “You’re really loud, Marls.”

Her eyes fluttered open and murmured a low “Sorry” under her breath. She was always insecure about she can’t control her voice.

“What on earth for? I loved it.”

As their body started to cool down, both of them came to realize how stupid was that they’ve done – both of them for quite the same reason.

Marlene was the first who stood up, pulled up her underwear and adjusted her skirt whilst started to speak. “Well I uh… I just go… to my room.” – She cleared her throat. – “It wouldn’t be good for anyone to find us like this here.”

Sirius sat up. “Yeah, you’re right.” – He ran his fingers through his hair while Marlene turned around, slowly walking towards the staircase. Before she could’ve reached it, he called after her. – “We’re going to talk about this, aren’t we?”

Marlene bit her lip before she turned back to face him with a tiny smile. “Sure. Tomorrow.”

Sirius nodded and waited her to leave before he let out a deep, weary sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day passed quickly and they haven’t got a chance to stay in private to talk. It was late on the afternoon when they were sitting in the common room with their friends around them as well; most of them writing their homeworks. Marlene carefully glanced up on Sirius from the corner of her eyes. He was on the other end of the couch in front of her, scribbling lines down on a parchment, leaning above the armrest. She didn’t really mind they haven’t talked yet.

Because Marlene felt herself awful. It was just two days ago when she whined about guys who only want to shag her, and now what have she done with that guy who tried to cheer up about it? She wouldn’t be concerned about it at all if it had happened with another guy, but it was Sirius. She preaches water and drinks wine.

Despite of her worry, she couldn’t stop thinking about Sirius; how his grip felt around her body, his lips on her neck, him inside her…

Pull yourself together, McKinnon, she told herself angrily. She crossed her legs and let out an annoyed sigh. He wasn’t her first time, of course, but there was something in him that made her absolutely crazy; something that made her shiver with anticipation, something that she only realized yesterday, and something that she couldn’t get it out of her mind anymore.

She stood up and placed some books back on the table in the middle of the common room, threw the used, wrinkled parchments into the dustbin before she sat down in a chair, separated from the others to reread her Transfiguration essay. She was only halfway through of the first foot when she heard a creak; Sirius pulled a chair closer and took a seat in front of her. “Why so tense, Marls? I thought I settled down your nerves a bit.”

“You’re right. A bit.” – She smiled. – “You have to do a lot more than that to cool me down.” Sure, Marlene, just fan the flame.

Sirius let out a silent chuckle, lazily leaning back on the chair while the girl turned back towards her homework. His smile slowly faded away and started to rap on the table with his knuckles. “So… are we going to talk about what happened?”

She snapped her head up, looked into his eyes before glanced sideways. Their friends haven’t really noticed them, and surely couldn’t hear from there. “Okay.” – She nodded and placed the parchment down on the table.

“I… uh…” – It was hard to start to speak. Because it was only two days ago when this girl talked about guys, exactly like him and how she has had enough; and he did exactly the same with her. He wouldn’t care at all if she was someone else, but he truly liked Marlene – as a friend. She waited in silence for him to continue. – “I know we shouldn’t have done that. I don’t really want a girlfriend right now.”

Marlene raised her eyebrows in shock and let out a short laugh. “I don’t wanna be your girlfriend.”

Sirius looked at her with a mix of relief and surprise on his face. “I mean… after our talk in the other night…”

She shook her head. “When I said I’ve had enough of boys who only want to have sex with me? Yes, when I wanted more. I didn’t want more with you. I said I’m going to have fun from now on.”

He let out a relieved breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s great. I was really afraid I fucked up our friendship.”

“Me too. I thought… don’t you judge me?”

“Why would I?” – He asked, not understanding her question at all.

“Because…” – She started, but waved her hand. – “Never mind. I see now we both misunderstood each other.” – Marlene let out a soft chuckle as she felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulder, and now, other thoughts were in her mind. – “So you don’t hate me.”

“No.” – He laughed. – “And you don’t want more.”

“No. Yes.” – Sirius taken aback, so she went on quickly. – “I mean… I don’t want to be your girlfriend, no, but, well… you know.” – She cocked an eyebrow and smiled at him smugly, causing him to smirk as well.

“It wasn’t bad with you after all.”

“Wasn’t bad?” – She asked with a tiny smile, leaning closer.

“It was fucking great.” – He breathed out, making her laugh. – “So, what do you think? Friends with benefits?”

She shrugged with a smile. – “Something like that.” – They looked at each other for a long moment, both of them considering, though both of them wanted each other very, very much again. – “But I have some rules.”

Sirius’ features hardened. “I don’t like rules.”

“You either accept them or my knickers will stay on.”

Sirius grinned and leaned closer, whispering. “They stayed on yesterday too.” – She bit back a laugh and hit him on his arm with the back of her hand. – “So, what kind of rules do you have in mind?”

Marlene looked around in the room again. Her eyes met with Lily’s for a second before she turned back to Sirius. “We’re going to do this in secret.”

He rolled his eyes. “Why are you so concerned about what other people thinks?”

“I just don’t want to hear our friends’ preaches! And don’t act like you aren’t afraid of Lily.”

Sirius glanced at the redhead girl. “She has a really mean wand.” – He looked back at Marlene. – “Okay. So no bragging about how good I treated you. Anything else?

She narrowed her eyes, but ignored his comment. “You can’t fuck other girls.”

For her biggest surprise, he only shrugged. “That’s okay. But same applies to you.” – He pointed his finger at her, but Marlene was so taken aback Sirius had to laugh. – “What? Why do you think I am a walking horndog who can’t control himself at all?”

“Because you’re just… you.”

He sighed. “Just because I flirt a lot it doesn’t mean I shag every girl.”

Marlene was still in a smaller shock; she really thought that will be the hardest rule for Sirius to agree on. “Anything else?”

“No, I don’t think so. Or do you…?”

“Marls, I get used to breaking the rules, not creating them.”

She rolled her eyes and stood up. “Well, break my rules and I’ll never touch any part of your body again.” – Sirius laughed while she picked up her parchment, ink and quill, but before she could walked away, he stopped behind her and placed his hand on her arm.

“Don’t you think we should celebrate our arrangement?”

She bit her lip and turned her face towards their friends, still sitting in front of the fireplace. “When? How?”

Sirius was thinking about it for a minute. “There’s a small, empty classroom at the end of the fifth floor. Filch’s never goes there. Meet me there around midnight.”

Without waiting for her answer, he went up into his dormitory. Soon, all the students left the common room and went to bed; the waiting killed Marlene.

She was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, listening as Dorcas and Lily talking about something, only saying “yes” or “you’re right” sometimes. It was completely unlike her, and Lily noticed it soon. “Is something wrong, Marly?”

“No.” – She said quickly. – “I just haven’t slept much and I’m tired.”

Lily narrowed her eyes, but Dorcas’ words saved her. “Yeah, me too. I should go to sleep.”

She waited until she heard the slow and steady breathings of her friends, and after she glanced at her watch, she jumped up from the bed. It was past midnight. She tiptoed out from the dorm and the common room; the Fat Lady was snoring loudly. Only when the cool air of the seventh floor reached her she realized she had only her sleepwear on; a black short and a pink t-shirt, barefoot. She huffed, but didn’t want to go back; she waited enough already.

It was hard to find the classroom Sirius was talking about. There were only big rooms that Marlene knew about teachers and students still use them daily; she walked up and down two times when she finally saw the door, almost completely hidden behind an ugly gargoyle.

She stopped into the dimly lit room. “Do you really know every little secret place in this castle?”

Sirius grinned and stood up behind from and old desk, walking around. “You’d be surprise.” – He stopped in front of her and placed an arm on her waist. – “I started to think you changed your mind.” – Slipping his fingers under her shirt, he started rub circles on the smooth skin of her hips with his thumbs.

“Almost.” – She lied with a smirk, slowly undoing his belt.

“You can’t fool me, McKinnon. I know how much I turn you on.” – With a quick motion, she took her t-shirt off and tossed it over.

“Look who’s talking. You’ve got a boner by only lying next to me.”

He raised his eyes up from her breasts to meet her gaze, but only growled in response as her hands were already in her pants, grabbing and softly stroking his bulge. “Shut it, Marlene.” – He managed to breathe out, not letting her to have the last word.

She leaned closer with a grin, whispering into his ear. “Make me, Sirius.”

He felt a rush of excitement that made him dizzy for a split second before he grabbed her waist firmly and pulled tightly against himself, kissing and sucking on her neck. She felt as her body relaxed and tensed up at the same time more and more with every touch of his. He slightly pulled back, only get enough acces to her breasts; giving please with his mouth. She pulled out her hands from his pants and grabbed his hair on the back of his head, moaning lightly into the silent room. As soon as she started to move her hips against him, he drew her shorts off along with knickers, throwing away them too.

His mouth returned to her neck while she started to slide two fingers between her wet folds, back and forth, but ever so slowly it drove Marlene crazy. She whimpered and rocked her hips hardly towards him, making him grinning. “Do you want something?”

Her soft palms tightened around his cock. “And do you?”

He raised her chin up with the tip of his fingers, talking closely to her lips. “Get on your knees for me.”

She smirked before bit her lower lip and slowly kneeled down, taking off his pants while he pulled his own shirt off. She took him in her hand again, her thumb brushes slow circles on his tip, not breaking the eye contact – which made him shiver.

He let out a loud growl when she finally moved him in her mouth. Gently but firmly he gripped a handful of her hair, ran his fingers through it and stroked her cheek while she used her mouth on him, pulling him out and stroke it, playing around with her tongue. As Sirius made some small, careful thrusts, Marlene could tell he was trying truly hard to restrain himself.

“Wait.” – He said suddenly, taking her hand on his. – “Stand up.”

His grey eyes weren’t clear from that so much desire, and I made Marlene shiver again with anticipation.

He grabbed her by her waist and put her up on the old desk, leaning down and spreading her legs immediately. After just two short and quick kiss on the top of her inner thigh, he licked into her already dripping curls. It was deep and dynamic but still gentle, sending Marlene close to the edge very soon. She pushed his head away from herself, but held his face between her hands. “I want to come with you inside me.”

He straightened up and put at arm on her lower back while she wrapped his legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer while he teased her entrance with his tip. Sirius grinned again, but talked with out of breath. “Eager, are we?

“Just do it.”

Sirius bit back a chuckle. “I think you can ask more nicely than that.”

No way I’m going to beg for it, Marlene thought. On the other hand… she needed it. She needed it so much she felt her veins burn and her mind could explode in any moment. She put her hands around his neck and looked into his eyes, almost timidly. “Please, Sirius. I want to feel you…”

…inside me, she wanted to say, but he already pushed himself inside her with one thrust that made her gasps. “Good girl.” – He murmured into her ear before pulled out almost completely, just to thrust back a moment later. He fastened his pace quickly, sucking on her breasts and neck again, causing her to become a moaning mess. She was loud again, and it made Sirius crazy for her.

“Come on, doll.” – He breathed out. – “Come for me.” – He reached down and pressed her thumb against her clit, rubbing circles while pumped in and out fast and hard.

She took sharp and loud breaths in after Sirius felt her walls tightened around him; making him let go as well.

He rested his head on her shoulder for a minute while both of them tried to catch their breaths.

Soon she felt as his hands left her along with the warmth of his body; too soon, Marlene thought. She slipped down from the table, exchanged some smug smile with Sirius while they take on their clothes.

“You’re really intoxicating, you know.”

“I know.” – Marlene said confidently, but was glad he couldn’t see her blushed cheeks as they were just stepped out into the dark corridor. She hissed up, then. – “That’s so cold.”

Sirius looked down on her feet. “Why don’t you have shoes on?”

“Because I… got a bit overexcited and I kind of forget to wear proper clothes.” – She rattled off.

Sirius bit back a satisfied smile before walked in front of her. “Alright, hop up.”

She raised her eyebrows but wrapped her arms around his neck and climbed on to his back. “You’re an idiot.”

“Doll, I won’t bring you soup when you’re going to be sick, just because you were so eager for my cock you forget to take on your shoes. So don’t call me an idiot.”

“Shut up.” – She laughed and hit his head.

Marlene fall asleep quickly after she jumped down on her bed; and the morning came too soon. She’d need at least another two hours, but Lily shook her up. “Okay, okay, I’m coming.” – She said, still lying still.

The others already left the room when she finally crawled out, there were only Lily, putting on some light make up in front of the big mirror. Marlene drew off her shirt and tossed it into the bed, reaching out for a bra when Lily yelled at her. “Who the hell did that to you?”

She looked down on her chest but hurried towards the mirror, seeing as hickeys covered her neck and breasts. What the hell, Sirius.

Marlene took on her bra before started to speak. “He’s, uh… you don’t know him.”

Lily sighed. “Marlene…”

“Don’t even start, please.” She said, buttoning up his white shirt. “I can take care of myself.”

“I just still remember the last time when you cried about a boy. It wasn’t nice.” – She said meaningfully.

“Listen.” – She started, placing her hands on her shoulders. – “I’m sure he won’t make me cry. And if he will… you can say you told you so.”

Lily shook her head but stopped pestering her. She always worried about her friends, and if it comes to Marlene, boys were always a huge problem. But it was something else now. Sirius and her were friends with some extra; she were sure nothing can go wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

Their remaining time at Hogwarts seemed to pass extremely fast. Almost every seventh year spent the afternoons with studying to the N.E.W.T.s, trying their best to prepare themselves for the last exams.

Marlene and Sirius had a hard time with their little arrangement. It wasn’t so easy just disappear together; not when their friends noticed everything, and Lily already knew Marlene had someone.

But there was something in the hiding that added even more excitement for it, and even though they needed to spend a lot of time with their books, they still found some alone-time if they really wanted to. Even if that meant sometimes they avoided sleeping to sneak out in the middle of the night, or skipped a study session in the library with their friends. No one was surprised by this, since neither Sirius nor Marlene was the type who can sit in the quiet library for hours.

But thanks for that, sometimes they had to stay awake up all night to finish an essay or just catch up with their studies.

It was a warm night in May when Marlene dozed off on the couch in the common room after she finished a Transfiguration and Potion essay, but was too sleepy and exhausted to walk up to her dormitory. The sun just started to come up when she woke up; but it wasn’t the light what made her eyes open. It was the jarring sound as the portrait hole opened and closed, and after she sat up she froze, seeing James and Peter with Remus between them, followed by Sirius. James nodded at her with a tired smile, Peter waved with a grin. “Long night.” – He murmured. Remus walked with the help of them, eyes closed and didn’t seem as he would notice anything from his surroundings. They walked up to the boys’ dormitory, but Sirius collapsed next to Marlene in his disheveled clothes, resting his head on her shoulder. “Morning, babe.”

Her eyes were still widened. “What the hell happened?”

“Nothing.” – He said easily with a tired, raspy voice.

“Really?” – She asked sarcastically. He leaned closer and put a hand between her thighs, burying his face in the crook of her neck, eyes still closed. He opened his mouth to answer, but Marlene cut him off with a shriek. – “You’re bleeding!”

He looked down on himself, seeing a dark, red line on his grey t-shirt. “Oh, it’s just a scratch.” – He’d already put his head back, but Marlene slipped backwards in the couch.

“No, it isn’t! Take your shirt off.”

“Babe, I’m not sure I can manage to do anything right now.” – He started smugly. “But if you really want it I’ll just lie back and you can ride me, I promise I won’t complain.”

She sighed. “I want to heal you, you idiot.”

“That’s a special kind of healing.” – He joked, but drew his shirt off before leaned back on the couch.

And it wasn’t just a scratch, but at least it wasn’t really deep either. She stopped the bleeding and tried to vanish the scar too with a few spells, but a light white line still remained on his chest. “You’re really good at this.”

She smiled. “I have to be.”

“Oh, yes. You want to be a healer, right? Good to know you will treat me after I catch some asshole dark wizards.”

Marlene placed her wand down on the table. “Why are you so sure? There will be a lot of other healers.”

“I’ll tell them Marlene McKinnon the only one who can touch me.” – He breathed out. – “Because she has a lot of experience with me and knows my body very well.”

Sirius knew she’d respond something sarcastic to this, but she was too quiet. She watched him, worried and a bit scared as well. Surely, the boys have done some really stupid things before, but this isn’t looked like just a prank. Or if it was, it went terrible. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing Marlene watching him. “Ask away.”

“What happened?”

He never heard so much concern behind her words and saw so much worry in her big eyes; maybe this, maybe the fact he trusted her more and more – or maybe something else, but he didn’t even think of lying. “You can’t talk about this to anyone.” – He said lowly and seriously. She nodded quickly, eyebrows furrowed. Sirius leaned closer and started to speak quietly. “Remus is a werewolf.” – Marlene’s mouth slightly opened, but before she could’ve process the information, he continued. – “And we’re all illegal animagi. James, Peter and me.”

Sirius couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, seeing Marlene shocked face. Then he explained everything to her from the start, and she listened in silence, both from surprise and amazement. She always knew the boys had a really close friendship, but became an illegal animagi for their friend… though, Sirius loved pretty much everything that wasn’t allowed.

They sat in silence for another minute, and as Marlene’s surprise changed into a wonderment in her eyes, Sirius started to smile. “What?”

“Nothing.” – She laughed and shook her head. – “You’re just… it’s a really nice thing what you do. Reckless, really, but… nice too.”

He tiredly smiled at her again. The sun was up and the early birds already started to fill the common room. “You should get some sleep.”

“Mhm.” – He nodded with closed eyes. Marlene walked up with him into his dorm, casting one last spell on his wounded chest. The others were already fast asleep after she managed to vanish the scar, but when she stood up from the edge of the bed, he gently closed his fingers around her wrist. – “Sleep with me.” – She stared at him for a second before looked around in the room. – “I’ll pull the curtains off, don’t worry so much.” – He added, and she crawled next to him after a deep sigh.

“You’re awfully needy sometimes.” – She said as she pulled her against his chest.

He ignored her comment. “Thanks for healing me, Marls.”

But she couldn’t respond, because Sirius pressed a kiss on her cheek, and something popped into her mind which made her numb.

After all those long weeks having sex, they kissed several parts of each other’s’ bodies – except their lips. Not even once. She quickly turned her back at him, because suddenly, she felt an unbearable compulsion to kiss Sirius. He wrapped an arm around her and she was sure after two minutes he was sound asleep, but Marlene’s eyes were still wide open under the shadows of the deep red curtains.

Well, of course he hasn’t kissed me, He was too busy with other parts of my body. And I haven’t kissed him either.

Her mind raced along with her heartbeat, and she couldn’t understand why is that even bothered her at all. It was just about kissing. The lack of kissing…

She huffed and as started to get angry at herself, she wiped the thoughts away. It’s not important, it is not… she repeated in her mind until she fell asleep.

“Great.” – She whispered to herself as she woke up, but Sirius was nowhere. She stayed still for a couple more seconds, but there was silence, so she decided it’s safe to leave.

Except Lily and James were lying in his bed. She froze with the edge of the red curtains in her hand while Lily quickly sat up. “Are you kidding me?!”

Are you kidding me? After all those time, she really had to catch her now, when they haven’t done anything?

“Sirius is the guy you were talking about?”

Marlene stood up with a sigh and stopped in front of James’ bed. He awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes. But…”

“Why haven’t you told me? Did you know about this?” – She turned her head towards James.

“No, of course not!” – He said with too much shock in his voice. We’re going to talk about this, Sirius.

Lily growled and stood up as well. “Marlene, listen…”

But this time Marlene cut her off. “No, you listen. This is exactly why I haven’t told you! Because I knew you will preach me about how wrong is this all and I shouldn’t do this but I don’t care, Lily, I feel myself completely fine! I don’t need your lecture.”

Lily’s features hardened. “Excuse me, I didn’t know being a friend is a sin!”

James slowly stood up. “Girls, I think you could…”

“Shut up.” – They said to him at the same time, and Marlene continued. – “Being a friend means you support your friend’s decision, not trying to judge them.”

Lily stepped closer and turned her voice down. “Marlene, I’m not judging you or any of your decision! I’m just worry about you, and you know that.”

“You don’t need to.” – She replied quietly. – “We both want our relationship stay physical.” – Lily plopped down on the edge of her boyfriend’s bed – who already disappeared from the room. – “And what’s the difference when you thought I’m doing this with another guy?”

She looked up at her. “Because… you’re friends. One of you will get hurt. It’s like, you already love each other in a kind of way, and adding physical contact to that…”

“Lily…” – She started and sat down next to her friend. – “I’m not going to fall in love with him. And I’m sure he won’t either.” – The thought left a strange, clutching feeling in her chest that she tried to avoid. – “I’m sorry I lied. But you really no need to worry.”

She sighed again. “I’m sorry I shouted at you. Just try to be careful, okay?”

Marlene nodded and hugged her friend with a grin on their faces. Soon they walked down to the Great Hall to join to the boys for lunch; she sat in front of Sirius. “Hello, Sirius.”

“Morning, Marls.” – He raised his eyebrows but smirked too, which slowly disappeared from his lips.

“Do you remember when I told you I won’t touch any part of your body ever again if you break my rules?”

He glared at her before turned his head towards his friend with angry eyes. “James!”

“Don’t blame him, he just can’t lie. Just like you.”

“Forgive him, Marly. They literally discuss everything.” – Lily said. Remus and Peter didn’t seem surprised either; they probably figure it out what’s happening too.

“Take this as a lesson you shouldn’t lie to your friends.” – James added and Marlene didn’t ever try to argue anymore. She sighed and started to eat, but a slight of anger still stayed with her and she wasn’t sure what caused it.

She left the table first, but Sirius hurried after her. “Are you angry with me?”

Marlene glanced at him from the corner of her eyes while they walked up on the stairs. “I told you to keep your mouth shut and you still told James. I’m not happy.”

He stopped in front of her in the corridor and placed his palms on her waist. “I’m sure I can make it up… somehow.”

Marlene raised an eyebrow. “You missed the “I won’t touch any part of your body” part.”

“But I can touch you, yes?”

His tone and the fact she knew how good he’d make it up made her shiver with anticipation, but didn’t want to give in right away. “After the exams, Sirius. I had a lot to study. But then you’ll have to work for it really hard.”

He pulled her closer. “Oh, I’m gonna give you what you want, doll.”

“I think you want it more, Sirius.” – She said with innocent eyes, leaving the grinning boy in the middle of the corridor.


	5. Chapter 5

The exam season ended with Herbology for those who still took the subject in their last year at Hogwarts. For Healers, it was a requirement to get at least Exceed Expectations from Potions, Charms, Transfigurations, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Herbology too, so Marlene needed to do her best from almost everything. While everybody else was relieved as they finally finished the last exam too, she was silent from the moment she left the greenhouse. She never really had plans earlier in her life; become a Healer was probably the first of hers. This is why she worried so much – she knew if she messed up everything, it’ll break her completely.

Of course the seventh years took the opportunity to throw one last party to celebrate the end of the exams and their school years. Marlene was still in bed, taking a nap when Lily came out from the bathroom, dressed in a green dress that looked perfectly on her. “Marly…” – She sighed. Lily knew Marlene was excited about parties every time; she always participated in the preparations as well. – “If you’re going to miss a party, this party, I’m going to kill you.”

“Do you know me like that? Missing a party?” – She chuckled in response and climbed out from the bed, though she seriously thought about just staying there. – “By the way, you look stunning.”

“Thank you.” – She grinned and opened the door, but stepped back a moment later. – “Oh, and Sirius says wear something short.” – The redhead girl rolled her eyes and left the room while Marlene growled with a smile.

By the time she walked down, the common room was filled with Gryffindor students, lots of bottles, goblets, some food, and loud music. Marlene hasn’t really noticed how many boys looked at her in awe; she was too busy with searching for Sirius in the crowd. She walked closer when finally spotted him, standing in front of a table in front of a window, talking with James.

Marlene casually reached for a goblet and started to fill it with firewhisky, trying to ignore Sirius’ frozen features, but couldn’t hide the tiny smirk on the corner of her lips.

“Wow.” – Was the only thing he managed to say, running his eyes up and down on her. She was wearing a short, black dress, topped by a lace decolletage.

She looked up at him. “Like what you see?”

“That’s an understatement.” – He stepped forward and leaned closer while she took a sip from her goblet. – “I see you got my message.”

“That’s really cute you think this is for you.” – She said and patted his grinning face before walked away. Fighting her way through the packed room, she had to realize there were many people from other houses as well – especially from Ravenclaw. She joined to Lily, Dorcas and Mary, but they soon started to talk about the exams which made Marlene anxious again. She quickly emptied her cup and stood up; this time not even bothering to fill it again.

“Don’t you think you should slow down?” – Sirius asked with a cocked eyebrow after Marlene took some huge gulp from the bottle.

“Thinking wasn’t part of the plan.”

“And your plan is getting completely wasted? What’s your problem anyway?”

She looked at him with an annoyed expression on her face. “And your plan is trying to sound like Lily? Or my mother?” – She plopped down on the nearest couch, Sirius followed.

“I didn’t mean to sound like them. I just asked what your problem is.” – He leaned closer and whispered into her ear. – “And I believe I still owe you something that might even cheer you up.”

Marlene bit her lip. They haven’t even touched each other in the past two weeks; that was enough to make her tense, not to mention all the misery of the N.E.W.T.’s. But at this point, she was too edgy. “Not in the mood, Sirius.”

He patted her bare knee and stood up. Sure, why would you stay for a talk or something, she thought, taking another sip. She stared the bottle, her vision already slightly blurry, but the sudden silence made her to snap her head up. Sirius was leaning above the enchanted record player on the small, round table, and the music that Marlene heard in the next moment made her sigh and roll her eyes at the same time, though, there was the tiniest smile that she tried to hide, even from herself.

Their gaze met and Sirius looked at her innocently across the room, walking closer while started to sing the song. ‘Oh my little pretty one, pretty one, when you gonna give me some time, Sharona?’

She bit back a giggle and shook her head while he sat down, close next to her and continued to sing the song, though the music was so loud she couldn’t hear his voice. ‘You make my motor run, my motor run, gun it coming off the line, Sharona; Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind’ – He stopped there and leaned closer. “She surely has one.”

“Stop it, Sirius.” – She said, but her cheeks burned and felt herself much better than a half minute ago. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled Marlene on his lap. ‘Come a little closer, over here, close enough to look in my eyes…’

He intertwined his fingers with hers, looking deeply into her eyes while Marlene kept grinning; their lips almost touched. ‘Keep a little mystery, kissin’ me, runnin’ down the length of my thigh…’

The song continued loudly, but Sirius stopped again, because in the next moment they were kissing, passionately, her hands clutched around his neck while he rested his on her thighs. He almost froze when he suddenly realized this was the first time they were kissing, but he didn’t stop; he just deepened the kiss more.

“Get a room.” – James just sat down on the armrest of the sofa with a Butterbeer in his hand, grinning like a kid.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend to annoy?” – Sirius asked, but before James could respond, Lily just appeared, leaning on Prongs’ shoulder, but looking at Marlene with a huge smile on her face.

“Come and dance with us! You can do… that later too.” – She said, and James leaned closer to whisper something in her ear, which made Lily roll her eyes and grinning at the same time – as she did several times.

Sirius and Marlene glanced at each other almost timidly, but as soon as she started to feel a bright-red colour flushed her cheeks, she crawled out from his lap and jumped up with a grin. “Well, come and celebrate, Black.”

They kept drinking, dancing and laughing, but every time Marlene’s gaze met with Sirius’, she couldn’t stop thinking about kissing him again. It was less yet felt so much more; and maybe she would have been even scared about it if she wasn’t so drunk.

And then maybe she’d even notice Sirius’ half glances at her, glances that didn’t scream he just wanted to rip her clothes off of her. Because he felt it, too, he just wasn’t sure what that was exactly.

After another bottle emptied, and another, and another, Marlene hurried towards the table with her unsteady steps, trying to find a new one – which was really hard by now. It wasn’t easy to focus, but she finally spotted and grabbed a full one, when a not exactly friendly voice made her spin around.

“Having fun, McKinnon?”

It was Chris, the boy from Ravenclaw, her last date before Sirius. He looked down on her with that cocky expression that almost made her throw up. He has a blond hair and blue eyes and was a favourite of lot of girl in Hogwarts – not for Marlene after their first and last date. – “I am.” – She smiled and put her hand on her hip. – “Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, I don’t.” – He said with a deep sigh. – “I see you found your newest toy. Sirius Black, really?” – He snorted. – “I could never understand how you measure your standards.”

Marlene just laughed. – “I know. They’re too high for you to understand.”

He leaned closer with a grin. “Well, maybe you haven’t slept with me, but you’re a still a slut, Marlene.”

She’d just laugh at this again, but before she could, she saw a hand gripped Chris’ shoulder from behind, and in the moment he turned around, Sirius grabbed his collar and pushed him up against the wall. Still, his voice was calm when he started to speak. “Call her that again. Come on, just do it, and I’m going to curse you into Oblivion.”

Since they accidentally kicked the record player off the table, the noise died and there was only deep silence for a few seconds, until someone murmured a “Reparo” to trying to fix it – and the situation as well.

“Let me go.” – Chris said under his breath, while Sirius didn’t break the eye contact. He looked calm, but Marlene was sure he could explode in any second.

“I think you owe her an apology.” – He said whilst let go of the boy.

Marlene chuckled and leaned against the wall; her moves were still unstable. “I don’t need that.”

The blond boy looked at her first before turned his head towards Sirius. “Sorry mate. I thought you knew she’s a slut.”

Even though his wand already in his hand, Sirius didn’t bother with it; he hit him in the face, once and twice, using only his fists. People were staring at the scene again, whispering or yelling things, while Marlene tried to tell them to stop – with absolute no success. Until James and Remus finally fight their way through the crowd and took Sirius off of him. “Get the fuck out of here.”

He didn’t need to say twice this time. Chris wiped the blood way from under his nose and hurried out from the Gryffindor common room, some girls followed him quickly. Soon everybody else started to mind their own business again, and when Remus and James walked away too, Marlene stepped closer to Sirius. He touched the red spot around his cheekbone, which caused him to hiss up. He only got one punch under his left eye. “That was really stupid. And unnecessary.”

“He called you a slut!” – Sirius said, the anger was still noticeable in his voice.

“Do I look like I care?” – She shouted, since she couldn’t control her voice from the drinks she had anymore.

He huffed and grabbed a full goblet of firewhisky from the table, drinking all of it at once. He looked surprisingly sober, compared at everyone else who drank at least half of the amount of alcohol as him. More than Marlene, at least, who lost her balance and almost fell over by only standing and watching Sirius. He quickly wrapped his arms around her. “I think you should lie down a bit.”

She leaned against him with all of her weight, feeling the whole room spinning around when she nodded. Since boys weren’t allowed in the girl’s dorm, he escorted her up into his, where she kicked off her heels and fell into the bed, pulling him down on the sheets with herself. They were lying there, next to each other, face to face and watching each other between long and heavy blinks, before suddenly she started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know.” – She breathed out. – “You look really hot with that.” – She poked the swollen skin under his eye again with her fingertip, causing Sirius growl in pain.

“You’re laughing because I look hot?”

“I don’t know.” – Marlene repeated after started to breathe in and out slowly, trying to pull herself together.

She sat up suddenly, as quickly as her condition let her, grabbing Sirius’ wand from his nightstand since her own was in the girls’ dorm. “I know a spell.”

But she couldn’t point at him properly; her hand kept moving up and down, right to the left. He carefully took out from between her fingers. “Until you want to mess up my face, I think you shouldn’t do this right now.”

Marlene pursed her lips and looked offended for a second, but then leaned closer with a smile, placing her palm on his cheek. “No, I don’t want to mess up this pretty face.” – The words still rolled heavily off her tongue, but she had this feeling again; she wanted to kiss him badly, and now she wasn’t thinking about it. She pressed her lips against his, and he kissed her back immediately, deeply, but she pulled back after a few seconds. – “Why haven’t we kissed earlier? You’re a really great kisser, you know.”

Sirius just lowly growled with a small smile, pulling her on him and leaning back on the bed, keep kissing her while Marlene was lying on top of him.

But a couple minutes later it felt strange, because they never just kissed, they never kissed at all, and both of them felt maybe they should do something more. Because that would be the normal, right?

Sirius slowly ran his hands down on her body, stopping only at the hem of her skirt, carefully rolling it up. He broke the kiss when he realized she didn’t wear knickers. “Now see, this is for you.”

He smirked and kissed her again, while massaged her bum and stroked the smooth skin on her inner thighs.

Marlene slowly started to rock her hips against him, but it was all too forced. She didn’t felt she’d wanted him – at least not in the way like before. She stopped moving and kissing him, her head fall on the crook of his neck, murmuring in a low voice. “I don’t want this, Sirius.”

“It’s okay.” – He replied and almost sighed in relief, only he couldn’t understand why it felt so strange and kissing Marlene was the only thing he wanted to do with her. She tried to roll off of him; he probably doesn’t want me to stay after that, she thought, but Sirius quickly closed his arms around her, right after he adjusted her skirt. “Stay. Stay here.”

She looked up at him only for a second before buried her face back against his neck. Long minutes passed while none of them said anything, until Sirius broke the silence, speaking in a low, hoarse voice. “Why the dandelions?”

She opened her eyes and furrowed her brows. “What?”

“I asked why the dandelions. You said they’re your favourite flowers.”

She froze for a second, thinking about how in the earth he could remember something like this. He was surely drunk, just like she was on that night, and that was just a small, tiny detail…

“They’re free and wild and you can’t buy them.” – She answered finally after she cleared her throat. – “And they’re pretty too. Remind me of a happy childhood.”

Sirius chuckled softly. “Wild and pretty? Sounds familiar.”

Marlene giggled and raised her head to look up at him; her eyes glistened, and Sirius felt an unbearable urge to start to kiss her again. He grasped one of her hand and slowly started to sit up, clearing his throat before started to speak, but avoided her eyes. “I think you should go.”

She frowned and slowly climbed up from his lap. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no I’m just tired and feeling sick and… just rather be alone now.”

Marlene nodded and stood up from the bed. Sirius walked with her until reached the door, only saying a quick goodnight to each other as she left, leaving her shoes in his room.

She went down on the stairs and up into the girls’ dormitory with small but quick steps. After a shower she crawled into her bed, but it felt awfully empty, and only then she realized the pain what he left with his words. He never sent her away before.

And Lily was right.


	6. Chapter 6

Most of the seventh years – and some of the sixth – spent their morning in the dimly lit dormitories, suffering with severe headache and angry stomach. Marlene skipped breakfast and only had some bites at lunch before she went for a walk alone around the castle; the weather was cloudy and the cool wind made her head feel much clearer.

At least from the physical pain, because nothing made her feelings just go away. After an hour of wandering, she sat down under a tree, staring the waving Black Lake. Unfortunately, or fortunately – she couldn’t decide yet – she remembered everything from last night, and now she was sure about her feelings, but couldn’t understand how she could be so stupid to fell for Sirius Black.

Ever since she woke up, she tried to find a solution, to forget him, to move on, to ignore these emotions or erase them somehow, but she knew it isn’t work like this, once she was already in love. They were friends, after all, not to mention their arrangement, which was probably the main reason for all of this.

And what was his behaviour yesterday anyway? Sure, he only wanted to fuck me and when I said no, he sent me away… but he wanted me to stay before…

Her head started to ache again from the many thoughts that churned inside her mind; she started to massage her temple with closed eyes when a low voice above her spoke up. “I hope you’re going to learn something for hangover on your Healer Training.”

Marlene raised her head whilst Sirius plopped down next to her with a growl, resting his back against the tree. “Me too.” – She replied before her lips hovered into a smug smile. – “Nice face.”

His skin turned into a darker shade of purple from yesterday. She just moved her right hand a bit when Sirius quickly grabbed it. “If you start poking it again I’ll tie your wrists together.”

“Kinky.” – She said, causing him to let out a low chuckle. – “But I was just reaching for my wand.”

His hand left hers and Marlene murmured a spell which healed Sirius’ swollen skin immediately. He carefully pressed his fingertips against it, surprised he didn’t feel any pain anymore. “You’re really good at this.”

“Thanks. I learn that spell after you left like a hundred hickey on me.”

They laughed again, just softly from the hangover-pain, but fell in silence for long minutes then. Sirius spoke up first. “It feels strange, leaving Hogwarts.”

“Yes. Well, you are going to live with the boys, right? At least you’ll stay together.”

Sirius couldn’t ignore the slight bitterness in Marlene’s voice. “And you’ll with Lily, won’t you?”

She sighed and looked down. “I have to convince my parents first. Don’t laugh, they’re really worry about me!” – She added, seeing they boy’s grinning face.

“I’m not! I just don’t think you’re the type who let her parents say what you can do and what you can’t.”

She looked at him with a serious expression on her face and turned her voice down. “They never said I can’t move and live alone with my friends. They just said they’d be happier if I’d stay for a few years and I know how much they scared for me. You can’t blame them though, knowing what’s happening out there.”

They remained quiet again. All of them agreed on they want to participate in the upcoming war against the dark witches and wizards, but none of them ever talked about their fears; it was easier like this. They were all full of hopes and being sure they will get through everything.

“So, what will happen to us now?”

Marlene froze after Sirius’ question. Maybe he feels more too? “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know. Should we continue this friends with benefits thing or…?” – Please say no. No, say yes. Please. Please.

“Why not?” – Marlene shrugged with a faked smile, trying to hide any other emotions from her face. She didn’t wanted to say yes – she knew it will only getting worse, but she couldn’t say no either. He’d ask why, and what she would say then?

Sirius smirked. “Then I suggest you to convince your parents soon. I wouldn’t feel myself comfortable in your bed while Mr and Mrs McKinnon try to sleep in the next room.”

“Good idea.” – She answered. – “My dad almost cursed my first boyfriend after he sneaked up into my room and he found him in the morning.”

She laughed loudly at Sirius’ scared face, who couldn’t decide if Marlene were joking or not.

One month passed after they left Hogwarts. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter lived together from the start, but Marlene only just moved into a small apartment with Lily, after she could finally convince her parents there are no need to worry. They set a bunch of protective spells around the house – where only wizards and witches lived.

In the past weeks Marlene haven’t met with Sirius. She decided the best solution for her problem would be if she will stay distant, and it worked out quite good. She always came up with believable lies about why she can’t go to meet with him again, and somehow, he never really tried to force these meetings.

Meanwhile Sirius was torn between his thoughts and feelings. He couldn’t decide if he was in love with Marlene or not, but tried to convince himself it was just some kind of attachment, because he was liked her long before they started to having sex. It’ll pass away soon, he told himself many times.

The day when Marlene moved in was also the day when they got the letters about their N.E.W.T. results. She couldn’t even try to hide her screams – neither Lily – after she found out she got Exceed Expectations and Outstanding from everything. That meant she could start the Healer Training in September.

“Marly, get dressed, we must celebrate this!” – Lily gushed after she stood up from a box. The house was still almost completely empty, except a couch, a small table and a lots of boxes. – “We found a shitty but cheap bar on the other weekend with the boys. It’s called the Broken Wand.”

“That sounds awful.” – Marlene laughed. – “Okay, send a message to the boys so we can meet them.” – She saw as Lily’s silvery doe vanished from the room before both of them disappeared behind their room’s door.

Marlene was so overly excited and happy after her results she completely forget about her worries for Sirius. They met with James and Remus in front the small pub at seven pm; they said Sirius and Peter will be there soon, so they walked inside and had they first, and quickly their second drink as well.

Soon she stood up from their table and walked to the bar counter where she sat down, waiting for her next firewhisky, when a tall and handsome guy appeared next to her. “Since when beautiful witches come to this place?”

She rolled her eyes before turned her head to face him. “Since I moved to London, I guess.”

He laughed. “Sorry, that was lame. You’re just really pretty. I’m David.”

“Thank you.” – She smiled. – “Marlene.”

“Can I invite you for a drink, Marlene?”

She accepted the offer and kept talking with him, but just a couple minutes passed when Sirius appeared behind them. Marlene suddenly became so happy to see him she jumped and gave him a short but tight hug. “I started to think you lost somewhere.”

David stood up too. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were waiting for someone.” – He said with a confused face.

Marlene opened her mouth to answer, but Sirius cut her off before she could even say anything. “Well, she was. It was nice to meet you.” – He already spun around to face with Marlene, while David walked away without a word.

“That wasn’t really nice.”

His face remained straight. “Oh, yeah? I thought we had some rules, Marls.”

She narrowed her eyes. “We haven’t said anything about flirting. And I’m not yours, Sirius.”

He raised his eyebrows. I’d really like to hear you saying that again.”

Oh, you want to play a game? She stepped so close there were only an inch between their faces. She looked into his eyes without blinking. “I’m not yours.”

Sirius started to smile and put his hand on her waist, slowly pulling her closer so their bodies touched, whispering into her ear. “I think you need a reminder.”

Marlene bit her lip in the attempt to keep her face straight. “You think?”

“Yes.” – He said with voice still low before pulled back just slightly to look at her. – “I’m going to show you that you’re mine.”

“Good luck.” – She said finally, snatching her glass from the counter and leaving Sirius there with a grin.

They spent another two hours in the bar, celebrating, drinking, talking, and laughing a lot. Marlene and Sirius exchanged so many tiny glances it just made both of them more nervous; will something finally happen?

Of course, she also told herself it isn’t a good idea. She promised herself she’ll stay distant, but it wasn’t easy at all. Maybe the next time, I’ll say no.

They just came back from the loo with Lily, who literally fell in James’ lap, while Marlene wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck from behind and talked lowly into his ear. “I think you wanted to show me something.”

He looked up at her smugly before stood up, quickly said a goodnight to their friends and left the bar. Marlene grabbed Sirius’ hand and apparated in front of her apartment. They hurried up in the stairs without saying anything. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

But in the next moment they were already in Marlene’s empty room where only a mattress lied, but Sirius hadn’t pay much attention to their surroundings. He pushed her against the closed door and pinned her hands above her head. He looked at her for a long moment before said anything. “You’re going to say it.”

“I won’t.” – She replied firmly, but the words barely left her lips when Sirius was already kissing her, with so much passion she started to doubt her previous statement. After he let her wrists, he ran her hands up on down on her everywhere he could reach, leaving goosebumps on every inch of her body. She only had a light dress on that Sirius easily took off of her.

“Turn around.” – He put his palm on her shoulder and ran it through on her bare back before slowly drew her knickers off as well. She heard the sound as he was unbuckling his belt which made her leg shake with anticipation. It’s been so damn long…

But he only teased her already wet curls with his tip. “Say it, Marls. Say that you’re mine.”

“No.” – She said, but her voice wasn’t to strong anymore.

Sirius pulled back which almost made Marlene whining, but she shut her mouth and bit her lip. He wrapped an arm around her and slowly and gently started to slip two fingers between her folds, back and forth, pressing wet kisses on her neck.

She tried hard to choke back her moans, but that was never her strength. She let out a quiet whimper, and even though she couldn’t see Sirius’ face, she was sure he started to smile in satisfaction. He was drawing soft and small circles and shoved two digits inside her, roughly as he knew how she liked it. His fast pace pushed her over to the edge soon, but when he realized how close she saw, she pulled out his fingers and stepped back.

Marlene spun around. “Are you kidding me?”

“Say it.” – Sirius said with a grin.

“Eat me!” – She replied angrily.

Sirius shrugged. “That not what I was talking about, but okay.” – He pushed her down on the mattress and took off his own clothes before lied in top of her. Sirius started to kiss her again, and her fury flew away quickly as he left soft kisses all over her body; on her breasts and belly and the top of her inner legs until his head stopped between her thighs, his tongue exploring every sweet inch of her.

She tugged on his dark locks, but still didn’t want to completely give in when Sirius spoke up again. “Say it, doll.”

“Shut up.” – Was her only answer, because she couldn’t say ‘No’ anymore. He continued pleasure her, but again, when he felt she was dangerously close, he stopped and lied on top of her.

“Sirius!” – She yelled, only making him grin again, though he started to lose his mind too. Marlene wrapped her legs around his face, trying to thrust herself against him, but he held her hips steady. He just kept looking into her eyes, and she completely lost it. – “I’m yours.” – She whispered. – “I’m all yours, Sirius.” – She repeated louder. I want to be yours.

His grin changed into a softer smile as he leaned down, talking lowly in her ear again. “You are.”

Sirius started to kiss her slowly again, but Marlene didn’t mind it; suddenly, she didn’t want to rush anymore. She just wanted to enjoy his lips on her owns, his skin on hers, his gentle yet firm touch. No matter how much she tried to not pay attention to it, she couldn’t ignore the feelings; the little sparkles, the burning skin, her rapid hear beat which wasn’t only fast from the desire for him. She couldn’t even try to lie herself; it was more, and she didn’t want to protest, she wanted to give up and let all of her feelings overwhelm her. She wanted to give herself to him completely.

She involuntarily bucked up her hips, so he pushed himself inside her with a growl, finally, making Marlene moan in satisfaction and from the pleasure as well. He kept moving in and out and kissing her from time to time, and he wasn’t thinking, he let himself fly, too.

But it was all over soon and Sirius collapsed on top of her for a long minute while both of them tried to catch their breaths, heads still so full they felt empty. He rolled off and Marlene turned on her belly, burying her face into her pillow and let out a slow but heavy sigh.

Minutes of deep silence later she heard as Sirius stood up. “I should go now.”

“What? No, you can stay.” – She mumbled into her pillow.

“No, I have to wake up early tomorrow… it’s better if I go now.” – He said while he took on his clothes.

“Whatever.” – Marlene replied, still not moving, swallowing back the urge to argue with him. She felt as Sirius carefully put a blanket over her.

Seriously?

Soon she heard as the front door closed, and she let out another deep breath. Even though her voice was nonchalant when she was talking to him, her insides were roaring. Would it have been so hard to stay here? Just sleep in the same bed with her?

Sure, I almost forget I’m just his toy. Why would he want to stay? He got what he want and left. That’s simple. Only I was so stupid who hoped for more.

She was equally furious at herself and Sirius too. She angrily kicked the blanket off of herself and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door after herself. Snatching the glass from the sink she threw it into the mirror; both of them broke into million pieces. Marlene watched the glistening bits for a long minute, breathing hard without noticing before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was even surprised at herself she didn’t cry from the anger.

After a long shower, she grabbed her wand from her room and cleaned up the mess she made. She returned to her bed then, calmer, but no dream came to her that night.


	7. Chapter 7

deerprongs  
Fine Frenzy - Chapter 7  
Fine Frenzy Masterlist

Sirius stopped and leaned against the wall after he closed the door, a long sigh escaped from somewhere ever so deep as he stood there with closed eyes. His fingers were still clutched around the handle, considering several times within a few seconds he should go back. Because he wanted to stay with Marlene, fall asleep with her in his arms and wake up next to her in the morning. He just wanted to stay with her, watching her cheeky smile and her glistening eyes, drawing lines between her freckles on her shoulder with his fingertip. He wanted give her gentle kisses and bury his face in her soft hair, pulling her closer and closer and even closer because her skin on his skin would never feel enough or too much. Instead of this, he just walked out of the apartment. He just left, as he was still uncertain and maybe even scared about what he felt; his mind as his heart wasn’t in balance. One part of him was sure he loves Marlene, but the other part tried to deny it with all of his strength.  
And she didn’t care at all when I said I should go. Of course, why she would, she said from the start she only want to have fun and laughed at the thought me as his boyfriend. His hand fell off of the handle and opened his darkened grey eyes. The anger that came from nowhere made him to make the first steps in the corridor, faster and faster with every stairs down. He didn’t apparate after the front door closed behind him; he thought the fresh night air would be good for his head.  
But he kept thinking and thinking and by the time he arrived back into his own apartment, he slammed the door shut and he couldn’t even explain why he was so angry. Everything was so much more easier a month ago, what changed?  
________________________________________  
Marlene woke up after two hours of sleeping, her head aching from the lack of sleep. She glanced at her watch on the floor – it was almost noon. She lied still for a couple more minutes before stood up and put on some fresh, comfortable clothes and left her nearly empty bedroom. She heard as the front door closed, and soon Lily appeared in the kitchen as well while Marlene poured some coffee.  
“Morning.” – She said with an amused voice, sitting up in the desk. – “James just left. Is Sirius here?”  
The mug trembled in her hand, barely noticeable. She slowly turned around and smiled at Lily, but there wasn’t any happiness in her eyes. “No. He isn’t.”  
She opened her mouth, but Marlene quickly changed the subject, looking around in the kitchen. “When did you packed out?”  
“Actually, it was James.” – She laughed softly. – “He knows a lot of housekeeping spells. It was like five minutes for him.”  
She smiled and walked into the living room, which was also furnished and tidy while her friend followed her. “Keep him, Lily.” – Marlene plopped down on the couch, sipping the warm drink. Lily sat in front of her on armrest of an armchair, but her smile faded away soon and her face became more concerned.  
“We wanted to do your room too, but we… we thought Sirius was here.”  
Marlene tried to hide the fact even from herself how much it hurt to hear his name at the moment. She looked up at her friend. “He was. He left.”  
She looked away from Lily after a forced smile, but she kept watching her in silence. She drank the last sip of her coffee and almost stood up when heard her voice again. “There was a very poorly repaired glass and mirror in the bathroom in the morning.”  
Marlene closed her eyes and sighed. She wasn’t surprised she messed up an easy spell like this yesterday night, or that she haven’t even realized it; she was too furious to think clearly.  
“What happened?”  
Knowing Lily was smart, and that she won’t stop until she’ll find out what happened, Marlene saw there was no point to lie to her. “I was angry and I broke them.” – She said with a causal tone.  
“Is something happened between you and Sirius?” – She asked in a low voice, knowing the answer perfectly well.  
She put the mug down on the table with a big thud and jumped up from the sofa, but took a deep breath in before started to talk with a calm voice. “I just… When we started this friends with benefits thing, I thought I was more than his slut. Apparently, I’m not.”  
Lily looked at her with said eyes, but didn’t say anything, and Marlene hurried back in her room before she could’ve. She spent the rest of her day there, pretending she was sleeping.  
________________________________________  
The rest of the summer passed too quickly, but all of them tried to spend as much time together as they could; they knew after the trainings will start there won’t be so much time to go out or just be together.  
Marlene only spent two days in the darkness of her empty room, after that, she always went out with her friends, trying to care not too much about her feelings. She also ignored Lily’s advice as they should talk, and after one week she give her desperate trying. Marlene was too headstrong, and Lily already got used to it.  
But the tension between her and Sirius only grew bigger. It was clear there was something wrong between them, but none of them tried to talk about it. Marlene’s anger that started on that night in her room hasn’t vanished, only formed into something else and something more. If he only sees me as his toy, I won’t give him anything more.  
And why would she wanted to give him more? Marlene knew, despite of her fury, she fell in love with Sirius. She knew she should stay distant, but she couldn’t bring herself to say no to him every time he was close her; not when there was so much sadness underneath her anger. She craved for every tiny bit of his touch, even when she knew it meant nothing to him.  
So they kept doing their arrangement, except it wasn’t the same anymore. Something has seriously changed between them and neither Sirius nor Marlene was willing to talk about it. There were too much anger, and it started to kill the trust and the softness between them without realizing.  
________________________________________  
It was the last day of the summer and Marlene was alone in their house. Sirius knew she was, as Lily spent the day with James. Marlene was the only person he wanted to talk with at the moment. He stopped in front of the door, upset, banging against the dark wooden door.  
She opened it with furrowed brows. “I’d be glad if you won’t try to break my door.”  
He bit back an angry growl, but his voice was loud. “Can I come in?”  
“I’m not in the mood, Sirius.” – She rolled her eyes, her hand still on the handle.  
“For what?” – He asked, shaking his head in confuse.  
Marlene rolled her eyes and turned around, walking inside the house while Sirius followed her. “Oh, I don’t know, like, getting laid.”  
She spun around and stopped, crossing her arms. Sirius looked down on her, almost shouting when he started to speak. “I only wanted to talk with you!”  
She snorted. “Sorry, I forget we can do that too.”  
“What is wrong with you?” – He roared and stepped closer.  
“What is wrong with me? You come here, banging against the door and shouting at me that you just want to talk? I don’t want to talk.” – She yelled, and Sirius fell silence; anger and disappointment mixed in his eyes. – “What now? Don’t act like “talking” is something that you want to do with me! That was our arrangement, right? Or did I miss something?”  
“Yes, you did.” – He answered in a low voice. – “You forget that part that we were friends too.”  
Marlene’s whole body froze and every bit of anger vanished from her face. She couldn’t say a word while Sirius left the apartment, leaving the door wide open behind him. In the moment she collapsed on the couch hot tears started to stream down on her cheeks, unstoppable. It wasn’t only from what she just heard but also all the tension that was built up inside her for long weeks. She was so busy with trying to stay away from Sirius she didn’t realize how much their friendship got wounded, even if she knew it was his fault too. He just wanted to talk, and she didn’t even try to listen to him.  
Not much time passed when she heard as the door closed and saw as Lily walked inside. She didn’t try to wipe away her tears or hide in her room, she just stayed there while her friend walked closer and sat down next to her. – “Marly, what’s wrong?” – She asked worryingly, though she already knew half of the story.  
“Sirius.” – She answered shortly. She didn’t want to keep secrets anymore from her or ignore her words.  
Lily let out a short breath and started to rub her back. “I met him at James’. He was… furious.”  
Marlene closed her eyes, but after her friend’s words she only cried more. “Did he say something?”  
She nodded. “He said he wanted to talk to you about his brother and you didn’t care.”  
“About his brother?”  
“Yes. They met and… well, you know. It probably didn’t go well.” – She said in a low voice. She kept watching Marlene, who was still sobbing loudly and stared the floor. – “Why didn’t you wanted to talk with him? What’s happened between you?”  
She wiped her eyes and took several deep breaths in before she was able to start to speak; her voice raspy and weak. “I just tried to stay distant from him.”  
“But… why? Were you afraid you are going to fall in love with him?”  
After the question left her lips it was enough one glance from Marlene which told more than enough to her. “Or you already…? Oh, Marly.” – She hugged her friend immediately; they stayed like this for long minutes before Marlene’s tears stopped finally and she pulled back.  
“Tell me Lily, all of those boys I’ve dated, or just met, how could I fell in love with Sirius Black?”  
She looked at her with concerned eyes, but slightly shrugged. “You ask the wrong person, I’m dating with James Potter.”  
That made Marlene laugh. Lily was right from the start, but she appreciate she didn’t bring that up now. “Well, I really fucked this up.”  
“And he fucked up too. Listen, you should talk with him about it.”  
Marlene’s eyes widened. “About I love him? No way.”  
“What does it matter now? You didn’t want to tell him because you were afraid it’d ruin your friendship, right? And look where you are now.” – Marlene let out a long sigh; she knew Lily had a good point. – “Talk to him. It’s going to be fine. And who knows, maybe he feels the same.”  
Marlene gave a short snort; she highly doubt that. But it was true, and she saw that too, that there were nothing to lose anymore. Hiding her feelings led their friendship near to its end, and she wasn’t sure she could make this right. Talking honestly with Sirius seemed the only solution, so she decided she will.


	8. Chapter 8

Marlene collapsed exhausted into an armchair, eyes closed as she let out a loud, heavy sigh. As the September started and with that, their trainings too, she spent most of her days at her classes. In every hour she learnt more than in a month at Hogwarts, and it made her more tired than everything else before.  
She didn’t have enough time, energy, nor courage to talk with Sirius yet. It’s been only a week when she decided she’s going to confess her feelings, but after every long day when she fell into her bed, she started to think maybe she should not. Maybe it will pass away. Maybe she should wait until both of them calm down a bit.  
But she missed him terribly. Even when she knew he made mistakes too, Marlene still blamed herself more – after all she was so stupid to fall in love with him. The burning pain in her chest was bigger than her anger on all those lonely nights.  
She stood up from the couch and took a shower, dressed up, and half an hour later she already left the flat. She knew that Lily was waiting for her at the Leaky Cauldron, but her only purpose was to find and speak with Sirius.  
The street was empty and she stopped for a few, long seconds in front of the door, taking in and letting out some shaky breaths. She still had no idea how she should tell, neither what’s going to happen when she walked inside the pub. Her eyes fell on the long, red hair, in front of the counter. Next to Lily sat on stool Dorcas, and Remus, all of them waving at her. She waved and smiled back before looked around – near to the staircase was Sirius at a table with a blonde girl.  
Well, that was quick. She almost immediately changed her mind; she walked in the direction of Lily’s, but halfway through she turned around and only stopped next to Sirius.  
“Can we talk?” – She asked with a voice a bit too loud, causing Sirius to look up at her with furrowed brows. The girl in front of him stared Marlene, but said nothing. Sirius turned to her.  
“I’ll be back in a minute.”  
Marlene spun around and let out a weary sigh. The bar was crowded, so she walked out as outside was the only place they could talk in peace. Sirius followed her without a word, looking down at her with a nearly blank face after they stopped.  
“So since you only spare one minute for me, I try to be quick.” – She started, unable the hide the grudge from her voice.  
Sirius growled and rolled his eyes. “You know, I came with you here because I thought you wanted to apologize… but if you only want to arguing, you can leave.”  
“I wanted to apologize!” – She answered loudly. – “But maybe you shouldn’t be an asshole.”  
“I’m not — Marlene, if you want to say something, just spit it out, because I have better things to do than listening your insults.”  
She snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure your blondie is a better thing to do than talking with your friend.”  
“Oh, are we friends? Do we talk?” – Sirius asked with pure shock on his face. – “Sorry, I haven’t really realized that last time when I went to you.”  
A slight dizziness rushed over her from the anger. “Yes, I haven’t realized that either when you treated me like one of your slut!”  
“I have never treated you like that.” – He said slowly and calmly. Marlene let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, only opening them again when she heard Sirius’ voice. – “This is why you were like that on the other day? Because you felt I didn’t treat you well?”  
“Not exactly.” – Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were sad and she knew if she won’t tell now, then never. – “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened what you wanted to say. I just…I love you.”  
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in confuse, and Marlene knew she will ask back but it didn’t matter; she already told what she wanted to tell the most. After saying that three short words, everything else will be easier. “I don’t understand.”  
“I fell in love with you, Sirius, and I tried to stay away from you in every way I could, but I couldn’t, because I loved you, and I missed you, and I wanted to be with you.” – She rattled off, only looking into his eyes after she finished. He still looked at her with a puzzled expression. She slowed down and talked in a low voice again, unable to hiding anything anymore. – “But it hurt, you know. It hurt that you just fucked me and then left me like nothing happened. We used to have a lot of fun at the start. I don’t know what happened to you but yes, you made me feel like nothing after every time lately. And it was even worse that it was so much more for me than for you.”  
“Why haven’t you told me?” – He asked, his voice almost a whisper.  
Marlene shrugged. “I don’t know, Sirius. Because it still felt good, even if for just a short time. I’m not stupid, I know it was meaningless to you. But it wasn’t to me.”  
The only thing that Sirius could do is gaping at her in silence. They listened the mixed sounds of the noisy muggle London behind them, cars and horns and loud people passing by while they were just standing. Marlene stared the dark walls of the Leaky Cauldron for long minutes before looked back at him. “I’m sorry again.”  
Since she got no answer, Marlene nodded and turned around, only taking a few steps on foot before she apparated from the middle of the street.  
And Sirius watched her as she vanished with the familiar loud noise, leaving a strange sensation after herself. Ever so slowly he opened the door and walked back inside, taking his seat at their table where the girl was still waiting for him. She talked to him, but none of her words reached his mind.  
I shouldn’t let her go.  
He jumped up suddenly. “I have to go.” – He told to the girl who looked at him with a shocked face, and not waiting for her answer, he already hurried towards the door. Before he could reach it, a hand grabbed his arm.  
“Where’s Marly?” – Lily asked worryingly. – “I saw you two left together a couple minutes ago.”  
Only now, as he stopped he could felt how rapid his heartbeat was. “I uh, we, so she went home, I guess.”  
Lily sighed. “Listen, I didn’t want to get involved. But Marlene is my best friend and so are you and this… thing between you is destroy your friendship! Just take a break or something, try to think through all these things, please. I know Marlene is show herself strong and unbreakable, but she’s really sensitive. Don’t hurt her.”  
Sirius opened his mouth to argue; he wanted to say he could never hurt her – until he remembered he did. He nodded slowly and excused himself, leaving the bar as quickly as he could.  
He was standing under Marlene’s window. It was dark inside, and he just stared up, not sure anymore if he should talk with her.  
No, he wanted to talk with her. He wanted to apologize and tell her he loves her, he just wanted to make this right; he can’t just stop in front of her and tell all these things like he was talking about the weather. After hours of sitting on a bench, he went home with mixed feelings inside his heart; because oh god, she loves him, but he couldn’t forget the pain and disappointment in the depth of her beautiful eyes.  
________________________________________  
After another long week Marlene started to think he won’t see Sirius ever again in her life. It only mad her sad and tired; if she wasn’t enough exhausted already. She thought they could talk about this, but it seemed Sirius chose the easier way and simply stepped out from her life.  
She thought, until she arrived home after gruelling day. While she kicked off her shoes and took of her cloak, she heard noises from inside; she couldn’t miss Lily’s soft voice, James’ laugh, or Sirius’ deep yet friendly tone. Her heart skipped a beat before she slowly walked into the living room, smiling at her friends and carefully avoiding Sirius’ grey eyes.  
“Hi Marly, we were waiting for you.” – James said with a cheerful voice.  
Marlene sat down at the armrest of the sofa and dropped her bag on the floor. “Yeah, and why?”  
“We’re going to the Leaky Cauldron.” – Lily replied. – “You come with us, right?”  
But she only sighed and stood up, picking her bag. “I had a really long day with two tests so no, I rather sleep through the whole weekend.”  
“Tests?” – James asked in disbelief. – “We only started!”  
She turned back and stopped. “We had a bit of harder training than the others. Tests almost every week from every subject. We have to know everything perfectly, not just roughly.”  
“That’s cruel.” – James sighed. – “And I think it isn’t necessary.”  
“Well, think about that after a fight with some dark wizards after you’ll be in hospital and your Healer can’t find out what happened.”  
Lily chuckled, James waved. “I’ll ask for you, then.”  
Marlene caught Sirius’ glance and none of them could help but smile, thinking back on an early morning at the common room.  
But her smile faded and she quickly looked away. “Have fun guys, I rather choose my bed tonight.”  
Before anybody could’ve respond, she disappeared in her room, but soon she heard a knock and Lily’s low voice. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”  
Marlene opened the door and smiled tiredly at her friend. “I am.”  
“Then I stay here with you.”  
“You don’t have to.” – She shook her head. – “I just want to be alone now.”  
Lily gave her a bonebreaking hug before she finally left; Marlene really wanted nothing more than collapse in her bed, alone. She told Lily about what happened with Sirius last week, but closed the conversation quickly. She didn’t need advices, nor comforting words. Suffering alone was more like her thing, at this is what she wished now.  
She stepped out from her clothes and into the hot shower, letting out a breath that she felt she had been holding since her eyes met with Sirius’. She felt herself so far away from him like never before, and that was what hurt the most.  
After an eternity she finished and dressed up, she left the bathroom and returned into her room. The first thing she noticed was the bouquet of dandelions on her nightstand which made her let out a short laugh. Turning around, she saw Sirius, standing on her doorstep.  
A second later was only pure fear on his face, but hearing the sound of her laugh made her smile too.  
“What is that?”  
He slowly walked inside. “It’s my ‘sorry I was an asshole’ dandelions.”  
Marlene touched the flowers with her fingertips, unable to hide a wild smile. “Did you conjured them?” – She asked, as finding dandelions was clearly not possible at this time of the year.”  
“Yep. I hope you appreciate my effort because I needed to read three different transfiguration books about plants to find the proper spell.”  
She shook her head and looked at the flowers a couple more seconds, only looking at him again when he started to speak. He walked even more closer. “I’m sorry about last week too.”  
She frowned. “What do you mean?”  
“You told me an important thing and I haven’t answered anything.”  
Marlene smiled. “And instead of trying to talk to me a day after, you spent your whole week with reading books about plants.”  
“I just…” – He stopped for a laugh. – “Okay, I just tried to do something nice.”  
“It’s nice. Thank you.” – She still smiled. – “So you aren’t angry with me anymore?”  
He shook his head and ran his finger through his hair, looking around a room slowly before his eyes stopped on her again. “I didn’t want to make you feel like… I just… It wasn’t meaningless to me.”  
Marlene felt her cheeks and ears burning; she stared her feet. “Listen, you don’t have to find excuses or say sorry if you don’t feel anything, it was me who –“  
“No, stop.” – Sirius cut her off and cupped her cheeks, raising her face up so their eyes could met. – “Don’t even think about apologize because you love me. Or than I have to apologize too.”  
“No, I said you don’t have to.”  
Sirius closed his eyes and sighed, his palms still holding her face. “I mean I love you too and I don’t want to say sorry for it.”  
Marlene’s lips parted and froze for a second. “It isn’t funny.”  
“And I’m not joking.” – She whispered, gently rubbing his thumb against her skin before Marlene suddenly stepped back. She grabbed the bunch of dandelions from the vase and threw at Sirius, causing him to widen his eyes in shock.  
“You idiot! You know I love you and you love me too and instead of telling me, you spent your free time with learning how to conjure flowers! Conjure flowers! Are you kidding me?” – Sirius let out his usual bark like laugh, making Marlene to chuckle too. – “You are crazy.”  
“See what you’ve done to me?”  
She raised an eyebrow. “Look, if you want to live in a fool’s paradise and think you were ever…” – …normal, she wanted to say, but she was cut off by Sirius’ arms around her and his lips attached on hers, kissing her so softly and gently and with still so passion it definitely felt like a first time. He pressed his forehead against hers, putting a strand of hair behind her ear while she was grinning.  
“I’d like to stay and just kissing you for the rest of the night.”  
“I won’t complain.” – She said before she grabbed his arm and pulled him down on her bed, lazily falling on the sheets and immediately pressing their smiling lips together.  
And it was nothing more than kisses and soft touches and gentle words, everything that had been missing about the last few months. The anger that burned them inside for each other disappeared like it was never there, understanding that both of them tried to run away from something they never should’ve.  
After hours she was still wrapped in his arms, slowly peppering short kisses on her forehead and cheeks before he stopped and just looked into her eyes. “I don’t even understand why you love me. I’m a mess.” – She said with a tired voice.  
“A hot one, though.” – They chuckled softly and Marlene rolled her eyes before Sirius continued. – “I’m a mess too. We have a lot in common, but there’s this natural happiness inside you, that kind of light that I will never have. And I think amongst a lot of other things, this is why I love you the most. I feel everything better with you.”  
Marlene crawled closer and buried her face in the crook of his neck with a smile on her lips; not just because she loved him but because she could feel how much he loved her too. “We all have our flaws, Sirius. I hope one day you’ll see that light inside yourself too. Because you have it.”  
She opened her eyes and looked up at him, giving him a softkiss. Sirius believed her, in that moment, for a second – and he was sure she can make everything better inside him for all those long years he intend to spend with her.


End file.
